Using alien technology procured from a martian mothership which was shot down over Heidelberg in the cold winter of 1943, Hitler invested huge amounts of man hours in creating this unstoppable, indestructable war machine, the design of which was his very own (I have had access to the original blueprints but unfortunately cannot print them here as Hitler still holds the copyright). It would seem that the Axis powers finally had the upper hand in the battle for Europe.Hitler briefly consulted his inner circle of top generals as to what their opinion was on the validity of his new invention. Rommel is quoted as saying "this is a fucking stupid idea" ......The Fuhrer would not listen, his mind was set.
Rommel
"A fucking stupid idea"
This prototype, pictured at the top of the page, on the rampage in India would however be the only machine of its kind created. This became Hitler's pet project in the latter years of WWII, he could often be seen driving it around Berlin "showing off and doing stunts" as reliable witness Maximillian Schnell was only too happy to confirm.
This MK 1 Kokenwagen, constructed at a huge cost to the German economy, unfortunately did not survive the war. On one particular jaunt around the Capital, Hitler would not allow it to stop to relieve itself. Being part machine, part organic matter and having a rather sensitive temperament, it wet itself in full view of the crowds of civillians who had gathered to see this wonder of German engineering in action. Days later, it died of a broken heart, knowing that the people who once worshipped it as a man-god no longer held it in such high regard.
Maximillian Schnell
" Ha Ha Ha, I saw him driving it around and
around like a fucking idiot.
Then it pissed itself Ha Ha Ha !"
Fortunately for the Allied forces,these devastating machines could not go into full scale production as there was a severe lack of crudely drawn cocks in the Fatherland in 1945.
The inability of the wehrmacht to equip this machine with its primary weapon rendered Hitler's pet Project impotent.
This logistical error was the main reason that allied forces pushed forward into berlin....resulting in the Fuhrer's final ,fatal chainsaw battle with churchill on the steps of the Reichsstadt.
